Is Runa Lynn my real name?
The short answer is no; but that’s not the whole story. It might not be my real name, but the meaning behind it is every bit a part of me.
Long ago in my teens I started writing down my ideas and creating stories that will never see the light of day. It was during this time the spark of a dream was formed; a dream of one day being published. As with many teens, my self-esteem was severely lacking. Sure it was growing from the reception my fan fiction had been getting, but it was far from enough to feel comfortable using my real name on any of my work. I decided that if I were ever to follow the budding dream of becoming a published author to use a pen name.
Being a teen, of course I created something ridiculous that had absolutely nothing to do with who I was; Runa Karlsson. To be honest, I can’t even remember the reason why I settled on this name, I just remember being so set on using it. As the years moved on and I grew not just in writing but in feeling good in my own skin. The need for a pen name in my mind wasn’t as vital as it once was.
The dream of becoming a published author one day was still very much alive and stronger than the spark it was in my teens. Only instead of the pen name I was so determined to use as a teen, I would use my real name. Except, there was a problem with that, at least in my mind. One day, I wanted to get married and take my husband’s name. Yes, I could absolutely keep my maiden name, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it wasn’t something I wanted. It wasn’t that I disliked my maiden name, far from it; but, there was just something about taking my husband’s name that appealed to me.
That left me in quite the pickle though. If I got married after I published a novel (not that life unfolded that way) my novels would have an incorrect name, and I would have to republish them under my new name. It seemed like a big deal to me at the time. In retrospect it’s really not. My degree has my maiden name on it and it doesn’t bother me at all; but back then, it felt like a problem. My solution? Use my middle name, Lynn, instead of my last name. I’ve always liked my middle name and never planned on changing it.
As time moved on, I still hadn’t published anything. I could come up with a thousand excuses, but in the end, none of it mattered. The dream was still there, even while in a backseat. The past few years though, that dream has made a resurgence and with it a change back to using a pen name.
Unlike back in my teen years, the motivation for using a pen name didn’t stem from not feeling comfortable with myself; but from the need of privacy. I never wanted to be famous, that was never the drive for being published. Honestly, I never even considered something like that would happen when I first decided to chase after this dream; and I still don’t, but I’m old enough now to prepare on the off chance that lightning strikes. I’m well aware that there’s enough online that if anyone was truly determined they could uncover my real name, but I’d be remiss to not at least try to make things difficult. I value my privacy and the privacy of my family. Even if lightening doesn’t strike, publishing still allows eyes to focus on those I want to protect.
So my journey has come full circle, and I’ve returned to using a pen name. Unlike in my teens, the name isn’t something that has nothing to do with who I am. Runa Lynn encompasses the whole of the journey I’ve taken to get to where I am today.
